By Mirabelle Summers
Author of Get A Great Guy Guide
If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story, check this out…
Why It’s OK To Be Flirty
Here’s a fun fact: women today have made incredible leaps and bounds in modern society. Just several decades ago, it was WAY harder for us girls to succeed in what were previously male-dominated fields like sports, business and politics.
The game has radically changed since then, and we now enjoy the right to vote, build a business empire, fly into outer space, or whatever the heck makes us happy and fulfilled.
Of course, making it means having a bit of thick skin and sucking it up when things get tough. In these situations, you need MASCULINE qualities to power on through and succeed.
What qualities are these exactly? Well, I’m talking about the strength of purpose, the ability to see things to completion, effectively handling threats and picking yourself up when you fall.
BOTH men and women have these qualities inside them, and this “fight or flight” response kicks in when the need arises. It’s this attitude that’s enabled you to survive in this big, bad world or protect the ones you love.
In the context of dating however, you’ll need an entirely different set of skills to succeed. To attract the strong, driven men that you’re into, you’ll have to tap into your playful, feminine side.
In other words, you need to be good at FLIRTING.
“But wait,” you might say, “shouldn’t a guy ACCEPT me for who I am and NOT be threatened by my success?”
“Why should I have to turn into a meek, dumbed down version of myself just to cater to his ego??”
And I’d say, of course you shouldn’t apologize for being assertive or headstrong! Any guy worth dating isn’t going to run away just because you’re just as successful as he is.
But what I’m saying is that dropping one’s guard just a LITTLE and offering a GLIMPSE of your soft side NEVER made a woman look WEAK in her man’s eyes.
But what does flirting have to do with ATTRACTING quality men?
Let’s break down this term, shall we? Does flirting mean using innuendo in a conversation or making overt sexual advances?
No, it’s very much possible stay classy while being a flirt in the purest sense. What it really entails is making a guy feel at ease with your lighthearted side.
Aside from that, being flirty also means indulging in the simple pleasure of making other people feel good about themselves. You can see this in the way a truly flirty woman interacts with people (and NOT just guys), adding happiness to their lives and spreading good feelings all around.
So now you’re wondering: How does one become a good flirt in a TASTEFUL way?
Let me show you the ways:
#1: Update Your Wardrobe
Looks aren’t everything; it does however, get your foot in the door! A great personality is important in the long run, but investing in good “packaging” encourages guys to come over and talk to you.
Think about it this way: dating is a two-way street, and we expect guys to present themselves in a way that allows us to take them seriously. There’s certainly nothing wrong about INITIALLY liking a man for how well he’s put together.
So, we need to play fair by holding up our end. Looking your best comes with the territory – simple as that.
But being up to scratch in this department doesn’t have to be complicated or intimidating.
As a general rule of thumb, you should choose outfits that play up your best features and highlight key areas of your body. Yes, it’s OK to take pride in your feminine shape and show a LITTLE bit of skin.
THIS is what flirting is about. By giving guys a good hint of what the rest of you is like, you can drive them crazy while staying well within the limits of decency.
If you don’t have outfits that meet these guidelines, then it’s time you updated your wardrobe with clothes that make you look AND feel good. Being light and playful in this sense goes a long way to disarm a guy and make his jaw DROP.
Not exactly an expert in this field, you say?
Relax, that’s what friends, family and salespeople are for. These folks can offer you guidance on which look suits you best and bring out your irresistible potential.
We all need a little help sometimes so don’t be afraid to ask for advice from those around you. You’ll be surprised how helpful another pair of eyes can be when it comes to figuring out the best way to package yourself.
#2: Chill Out! (Yes, really)
Like we covered earlier, showing a LITTLE vulnerability in the context of dating won’t hurt your street cred. In fact, showing your guy that you’re cool and fun is especially effective if you’re the tough cookie type.
So go ahead and laugh at his jokes, look into his eyes for a bit when he talks to you, and touch his hand for a few seconds when you’re doing the talking.
Showing a guy this side of yourself is a subtle but POWERFUL sign that you’re into him.
Here’s a pro tip: Giving a guy your full focus is one of the most overlooked attraction-boosters.
Lots of women are often caught up in their own heads, constantly trying to come up with a witty response or analyzing every statement that comes out of a guy’s mouth. Don’t think about whether he likes you or double guess your words and actions.
If you find yourself doing this during a conversation, acknowledge what’s happening and cut off this train of thought immediately. Do away with all the expectations, biases and other mental chatter that can make you DEFENSIVE and UPTIGHT.
Don’t worry that you won’t live happily ever after with him. Why worry about crossing a bridge that’s still far, FAR down the road anyway?
Simply enjoy the pleasure of your man’s company and focus your attention on HIM.
#3: Let Him Be The Guy
As we just talked about, there are times when you need to “act like a guy” to get stuff done. No one ever got ahead by being timid or soft-spoken all the time.
However, this is not one of those times.
When you’re with a guy you like, there’s nothing wrong with making him feel like a man. On a primal level, he enjoys doing things for his girl; letting him indulge in this DOESN’T mean you’re NOT on equal footing in the relationship.
So when you’re out on a date with him, allow him the pleasure of flexing his masculinity a bit. Let him pick the time and place to eat, make reservations for the both of you, or choose the movie to see – with your preferences taken into consideration, of course.
Here’s another example: If you’re not the most tech-savvy person out there, this is a good chance to ask for his help. Get him to set up your new smartphone, troubleshoot your computer or install your home theater.
Being the strong, independent woman that you are, he KNOWS that you could do all of these things on your own if you really wanted to. But giving him the chance to “be the guy” in this sense is a form of flirting that he’ll appreciate.
As far as the big picture is concerned, you’re not giving up your power where it really matters.
Even if you choose to be “vulnerable” in this way, he STILL knows that you have an equal say in the relationship and have just as much right as he does to make decisions.
So there you have it. Being a flirt can be done in clever and tempered ways without denying your ambitious or successful nature.
All it really does is connect with a guy in a way reveals the finer aspects of your personality while creating positive emotions in the process. The sooner you apply this frame of mind in your dating life, the more guys you’ll have swooning over you!
If you’re ready to take the plunge and learn why men pull away – Click here to watch my free video presentation…